This newsletter was first sent to subscribers on Friday 3rd April 2026. If you'd like to subscribe, you can sign up here:

Happy Easter :)

I don’t know about you, but at this time of year I just want to get outside. It’s a sunny blue sky day down here in Poole, the sea is sparkling and it feels like it’s begging me to join in the celebration of life.

As you'll see from the pic at the end, I couldn’t resist!

Did you know… Nature’s interdependent relationships were the inspiration for not just my company name Bend the River, but also the guiding philosophy of how I work?  You can read more about that here.

This month, I’m leading with the theme of working outside and inviting Nature in as co-coach, and then moving onto a couple of inter-personal relationship themes:

1. Being with/ within Nature as your co-coach

2. The rise of ghosting, no-shows and late cancellations

3. Creating a good start to the supplier-buyer relationship

Plus, I recently found a moment to watch the Channel 4 series Dirty Business. The quality of water of our rivers and sea have been shockingly impacted by the privatisation of our water companies and ineffective regulation & cover-up mentality of our Environment Agency. It’s not exactly a fun watch, but it is essential for anyone who cares about our natural world. 

It’s also not going to change without further pressure from more people. If you’ve not yet signed the petition by Surfers against Sewage to end the sewage pollution scandal, please check it out here.

At the time of writing 236,710 people had signed & 300,000 are needed for the petition to be validated!

Being with/within Nature as your co-coach

If you picked up last month’s FwF you’ll know I’m heading off to Nature Connected Coaching Live in June. Serendipitously on the same theme, was the third and final webinar of the UKICF series on team coaching titled: Coaching in the Wild - The Power of Outdoors for Teams.

It offered me one of those blindingly obvious moments. It came when one of the speakers said we don’t ‘use’ nature in our coaching sessions, we invite it in as co-coach, and are ‘with or within’ nature.

This mindset shift is critical & is a lesson for all our relationships.

Instead of thinking how nature (or someone you’re in relationship with) can help you/ be of service to you;  how you can get value from it/them; from ‘consuming’ and ‘using’ the other, it shifts the power balance to the together space. To the 'we'.

It's a stance that supports equality and partnership. It makes it easier to shift the conversation to questions such as:

• What is our experience of being together?

• How does me being here change this place?

• What about me is changed by being in this place?

Message Me:

I’m keen to hear your experiences of coaching, supervision, working outdoors etc… What does being in a natural environment change for you?  Which environments are you drawn towards?

BTW, here are the Top 3 PRACTICAL tips I took away about coaching teams outdoors:

• Time in nature is only part of the day; have indoor time too. Partly for practicalities of food/toilets/cover from the elements. But also for benefiting from the disruption factor which comes from a shift in environment.

• Choose an environment which is relevant and conducive to the team challenge. What is the pattern they are trying to shift? What state does the team need access to? What environment might support that?

• Be Safe! Assess at an individual level the experience of nature. It’s all too easy to assume everyone loves it like you do. That may not be the case. One person’s open expanse, is another’s unsupported vacant territory.

Feeling in need of a bit of some Nature restoration over Easter?  

Gift yourself some movement with this short Tai Chi practice. I’ve been using it some mornings to connect to the energy of life, to welcome it in and notice my part in energy. If you can, try it outside.

The rise of ghosting, no-shows and late cancellations

It seems to be happening everywhere and a real source of frustration for those on the receiving end.

I blame it on the depersonalisation of customer service that is now apparent through many of our buying interactions. From online purchasing to self-checkouts at high street retailers or self-checkin at the airport, bots answering our queries and AI supporting our lives and business, we are increasingly out of practice of interacting with other humans.

We're forgetting that follow up interactions matter.

The paradox, is that I don’t think any of us like being dropped at the last minute or ghosted. But some of us must be doing it!

Let’s all keep practicing being respectful with timely responses, giving feedback and being appreciative of our human time together.

Bot’s may not need a thank you, but humans like their efforts and intentions to be acknowledged!

Also, see the checklist in the section below for covering this topic at the start of your relationships.

Creating a Good START to longterm interdependent relationships

Last month, I was so pleased to have thrashed out the 10 key challenges which coaches face when coaching relationships (see March FwF), and then promptly lost momentum. Luckily, I have this monthly practice of writing to you all which keeps me focused!

So I re-read the 10 challenges and good news… they still make sense.

Reading them I noticed that they are all challenges that relate to the quality of work with the client. I wanted to add an overlay to this; the overarching coach-client relationship: the supplier-buyer relationship.

In particular, HOW to build this relationship. My approach has been influenced by my experiences in 3 different areas:

1. Being the buyer

2. Building coach - coachee relationships over the last 15 years

3. Gestalt theories that just ring true

Taking each insight:

Insight 1: Heading up several buying teams for Sainsbury’s in categories which were predominantly own brand, I was most struck by the inter-dependency of our long term supplier relationships. You may think that the power is all on the side of the retailer but it’s not the case. We needed each other & often used the expression of ‘getting into bed’ together. And not for a fling but for the long haul. It was really important to get clear on the responsibilities of BOTH parties upfront in order for the relationship to be effective and beneficial for all of us, and ultimately our customers.

Insight 2:  In creating the coach - client relationship (with the individual who will be coachee, not the buyer of coaching), I use the 3 point approach of Professional Purpose, Psychological, and Practical contracting. This is a game changer for establishing trust. And is the foundation for ensuring coaching conversations are different from everyday work conversations.

Insight 3: A lesson gleaned from gestalt field theory, which is that the organising patterns of how we start are most likely how we continue. As soon as we meet, coming together in our separateness, we are seeking similarity. As we find similarity, our patterns of interaction start to fix.

“We all know the power of precedent, of habit, of repetition, and the difficulty - even terror- which can attend the process of undoing the fixed configuration, the fixed gestalt.”

Malcolm Parlett,  Reflections on Field Theory, 1991, pg 77 

In short, we dread breaking what has already been established.

These 3 insights come together as a big signal to be conscious about our interdependency, our trust creation, and to start long term relationships well.

The Key Mistake: Starting with a focus SOLELY on what the work will be together & getting the work underway.

The Tip: Alongside what the work is, talk about HOW you will work together.

Based on the insights I’ve had and questions which I’ve used for years, I’ve pulled together the #BeBetterTogether checklist for Starting Well. You can use it within your coach-coachee relationships and I think it translates well to other supplier-buyer longterm relationships.

Message Me:

Let me know what you think of it, and if you’ve got other aspects of the relationship you like to cover at the outset.

Sending you joy from Sandbanks beach!

Thank you for joining me. See you next on Friday 1st May.

All the best, Felicity x

Supporting your wisdom | be better together

This newsletter was first sent to subscribers on Friday 3rd April 2026. If you'd like to subscribe, you can sign up here: