#25 Flow with Felicity, March 2026
- Felicity Hodkinson
- 12 minutes ago
- 6 min read
This newsletter was first sent to subscribers on Friday 6th March 2026. If you'd like to subscribe, you can sign up here:
Hello Spring :)
What a difference the weather makes! With the warmth of recent days, the memory of the very bracing open top bus ride back from Studland Bay in mid February feels like ages ago! You can see from my sign off picture that Fi and I are well wrapped up. And yes, they really do run the open top buses in all weathers.
Ideas and possibilities spring forward like all the lovely daffodils randomly popping up. After the quiet still months of Dec - Feb, I notice a distinct shift in energy towards wanting to hatch plans for the future. No doubt, being able to put the surgery behind me has helped. All is healing well.
It has prompted me to get on and book my ticket to Nature Connected Coaching Live, a two/three day event in June. If you fancy joining me there, early bird tickets are still available. It would be lovely to reconnect in person. I'll be there the Wed & Thurs.
3 Reads for you this month:
On a personal note - Living to 100 raises so many questions!
On workplace relationships - The gap between Convinced and Action
On coaching working place relationships - The 10 common challenges faced by coaches
And one thing to watch on catch up - AI Confidential with Hannah Fry
It's a 3 parter and the first episode was an eye opener. Incredibly enlightening on the ramifications of AI induced psychosis. Got me thinking & researching questions to coach clients on their relationship with AI.
On a personal note - Living to 100 raises so many questions
Two family birthdays have got me contemplating the passing of time, and where I am in my life, and for how long I will live. And what do I hope for in that time?
My Mum turned 84 in February and her Aunt, my Great Aunt, reaches the great age of 100 on 7th March. I'm proud that she lives independently on her own, with the help of a cleaner, a gardener, hairdresser and girl (turns out she’s older than I am) who helps with taking her to and around the shops.
It gets me wondering what I want for the next phase of my life? Does that differ if I imagine a life to 85, or a life to 100? Honestly, either is a massive amount of time. Easily enough to retrain and have a successful third career!
It’s surfaced 5 points of tension:
In short, lots of questions swirling around in my head at the moment!
What I do know is that Fi and I have defined what living a healthy life looks like, so whatever I decide & plan, it needs to contribute not subtract from this.
If you’re also working out what living healthily looks like, I thought I’d share our current thinking. Download our 8 ingredients for Living Well below. |
On Workplace Relationships - The gap between Convinced and Action
Have you ever got frustrated when you’ve got on board with a change, and others are slow to follow? Or vice versa, you feel rushed to make changes that you’re not yet sure about?
It can be deeply puzzling and frustrating in a relationship when the pace at which one person is convinced (and acts on that) is different from the other.
My tupperware drawer reminded me about Convincer Patterns.
What does it take to be convinced in order for behaviour to change? And then what support needs to be in place to change deeply ingrained behaviours?
Here’s my tupperware story - it’s taken multiple podcasts, articles and books to persuade me to make the move from plastic food containers to an alternative material. If you’re not aware, the latest research shows that keeping food, particularly hot food in plastic, is not good. The plastics leach into the food. I’ve already ditched plastic water bottles and no longer reheat food in plastic in the microwave, but then I’ve got stuck.
I’m very attached to my tupperware drawer. Everyday for all my adult life, I have put my leftovers from dinner into the right sized container(s) for a further meal. I can now admit I’ve been slow to consider changing to a non-plastic alternative. It’s partly because I didn’t believe that it’s not ok. After all, plastic food containers are everywhere! And it’s also partly because I dislike throwing away functional products. Plastic containers last forever.
Back to my Mum, she has ones she inherited from her mother. And I learnt from them to re-use all those plastic pots that we buy foods in, currently a lot of greek yogurt pots! Now, I may be convinced not to store foods in plastic products, and I may have bought new non-plastic containers, however I still haven’t made the change. Why? Because I can’t quite bring myself to throw away what seems perfectly serviceable. Yet.
It’s reminded me how easy it is to get stuck, when shifting a habit of 30+ years.
This got me thinking about a client who is struggling to change their pattern of interactions with their direct reports. They know what needs to be different. They even believe it’s important. And they have the tools and approaches to interact differently. And they’ve had the conversations with team members to contract jointly around what they will ALL do differently. Yet in the moment, the leaders communication comes out as it has done for 30+ years. It does not change.
A bit like me, their equivalent of new non-plastic containers stay in the drawer.
Naturally this is hugely frustrating for their direct reports. I hear them say, ‘it was all words’ and can see them start to lose belief that there will be change. They lose trust in their leader’s intention. They start to switch off and work out how to avoid interaction with their leader.
For a fuller read about Convincer Patterns, check out issue #2. It’s also worth adding, that WHO you’re hearing information from also makes a big difference to how quickly you're convinced. Do you trust their judgement?
The Tip
If you’re noticing that you’re on a different timeline of being convinced and seeing it convert into behaviour change then here’s the tip.
Keep having this conversation in the relationship:
Where are we both on being convinced?
What else do we each need to be convinced, and how can we get that?
What do we each need to turn convinced into action?
How can we help each other as we change our behaviour?
I best go and have a conversation with Fi about our tupperware drawer, she’s been incredibly patient with me, as she waits for me to catch up with her way of thinking!
On Coaching Workplace Relationships - the 10 common challenges faced by coaches
As a starting point for collating and sharing my knowledge base on coaching workplace relationships, I’ve been considering the key challenges that are faced by coaches when working with clients on their work relationships.
10 common challenges that arise when coaching workplace relationships
Getting sucked into the stuckness of the client relationship and wanting to take sides with them against the difficult ‘other’ person.
Being triggered by similarities to one’s own relationship experiences and veering into advice.
Not getting any further than coaching tactics on ‘how to survive’ the tricky relationship and missing the deeper development of transforming interaction patterns for life.
The client that talks and talks to let off steam about their relationship(s) and doesn’t allow space for coaching.
Noticing that you seek out more detail about the other person and the situation in order to work out how to help your client.
Getting a sense that how you experience your client may be of relevance, but not knowing how to convert it into words that will help your client.
Lacking a framework to explore the relationship challenges of your client and going round in circles.
Not knowing how to contract to coach a pair, and how to define your role as coach.
Lacking confidence in how to coach in the ‘inbetween’ space when working with a pair.
When coaching a pair, noticing you lean towards liking one client more than the other.
Message me & let me know which ones resonate with you. And, it would be great to hear if I’m missing any challenges that you’d like me to unpick.
Sending you joy from a breezy bus by the beach in February!
Thank you for joining me. See you next on Friday 2nd April.
All the best, Felicity x
Supporting your wisdom | be better together
This newsletter was first sent to subscribers on Friday 6th March 2026. If you'd like to subscribe, you can sign up here:
Comments