~ bend the river

Leadership & Workplace Relationship coaching

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Honouring our connection (and our individuality)

Honouring our connection (and our individuality)

This is the twelfth and final in this series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. Something has literally fallen into place in my mind in the last 24 hours: it's AND not OR. It’s my birthday this week and as a little celebration I headed over to New York last weekend to catch up with a friend who is dear to my heart. I was last there in 2011 so it was my first opportunity to

What has been left unspoken, but still said?

What has been left unspoken, but still said?

This is the eleventh and penultimate in the series of twelve posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. It's not only been a significant and historic week for the US and the world, but it's also been a week of re-orientation of relationships. I realise that as I write the title for this week’s post, that it is also relevant to this series of posts about relational learning. As this is

In, out or on the boundary of the relationship?

In, out or on the boundary of the relationship?

This is the tenth in the series of posts (aiming for twelve!) about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. This week follows on from the theme of the last two weeks, with attention turned towards the quality of our relationships & our position within them. I recently got given some great advice about networking: you’ve got to make sure that you’re in the right room. In other words, make sure

Part 2: Time, task, relationship... which comes first for you?

Part 2: Time, task, relationship... which comes first for you?

This is the ninth in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. This week, I'm offering up an activity to turn the attention towards your relationships. Click here to read Part 1. Last week I looked at how time and task can affect our relationships. I’m going to continue with the same theme this week, as I’ve been hearing these sort of question/statements from people tha

Time, task, relationship... which comes first for you?

Time, task, relationship... which comes first for you?

This is the eighth in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. This week, I'm exploring how time and task can affect our relationships. The spaciousness of time seems to be elusive for many people I meet at the moment and I wonder what this does to our relationships? It’s raised the question, what is getting our ATTENTION? The relationship, time or task? Prompted by co

Do I belong here?

Do I belong here?

This is the seventh in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. This week, I'm picking up the theme of 'belonging' which comes from depth in our relationships. I’m in a room full of people looking purposeful, moving about looking like they know what they are doing. I want to join them, I believe I can add value. The only problem is, a solid, sound proof glass wall seem

How intentional are you?

How intentional are you?

This is the sixth in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others and what's going on in our lives. This week, I'm reflecting on how I'm learning and experimenting with writing these posts. WOW! I’ve got to week 6 of writing these posts and I’m amazed that it’s taken this long for me to get bored! One of the reasons for writing a regular weekly post was to experiment with my boredom. I love doing the ‘new’

Who are you...really?

Who are you...really?

This is the fifth in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others. This week, I'm reflecting on a couple of questions that I was asked last week. Click for posts one, two, three and four. This question was asked of me last week, to share my answer amongst a group of people I’d never met before and it’s lingered with me, partly because at the end of the day, I was also asked if I’d been able to be myself? I

Let's go fly a kite!

Let's go fly a kite!

This is the fourth in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others. This week, I'm shifting the attention to the 'depth' of our relationships and how we choose to participate affects us. Click for posts one, two and three. This week I was gifted the image of a kite, blowing in the wind, connected by almost invisible nylon to a person on the ground. It was given to me in response to a question I was posing

Learning through inaction and distraction

Learning through inaction and distraction

This is the third in the series of posts about ‘relational learning’; how we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others. This week, I'm exploring my relationship to something other than a person - inaction and distraction. Click for posts one and two. This week’s writing is feeling difficult. I can’t seem to find the words or flow to create a coherent message. I’ve written a number of paragraphs but can’t work out how to join them together. The good news is t

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